3 Prerequisites for Happiness in life

Ekizz’s patented 3-step process to be truly happy in your everyday life. They are all interdependent and connected in one way or another, so pay attention to the knowledge I am about to bestow upon you:

1. Sleep

Look how happy Garfield is

There are many famous quotes out there which downplay the importance of sleep in the name of progress and work. I.e, “Sleep is for the weak“. I beg to disagree.

I always hear my friends complaining and whining about how tired they are. Solution? Quit staying up until 2 or 3 every morning and get some rest! Your body literally cannot function without getting sleep, and it needs time to recuperate from the physically taxing activities of everyday life. You shouldn’t feel like your body is going to explode every morning you get out of bed– you should feel rejuvenated and ready to seize the day by the balls.

If you have to set 10 alarms to wake you up, feel miserable getting out of bed, or have to down 5 cups of coffee to stay awake during the day, you probably need more sleep. Or some cocaine.

2. Exercise

So true.

We are fatter and lazier than we have ever been in history. According to statistics, 64% of Americans are overweight. Although Texas and other countries in the South probably skew the nation average, it is clear that people aren’t getting enough exercise.

Feeling depressed? The natural endorphins that your body produces while exercising makes you feel good. Don’t waste your money on weed to get high and feel better when you are down! Use that money on buying those new Jordans which can help you out! (Refer back to point 2).

Feeling fat? Unless you have some sort of disorder, you probably could lose a few pounds around the waist. For the guys, it is true that girls like guys with a little brawn. And ladies, it is true that guys like a nice waist. Not saying that being fat is a sin, but losing a few pounds (or gaining a few pounds  in muscle for guys) will make you feel better about yourself.

Feeling ugly? Sorry… exercise can’t help, but maybe plastic surgery can help you in that department.

3. Eating

He's doing it wrong.

I’m not saying that we don’t eat enough. I’m saying we don’t eat correctly. Eating a pie with an apple for breakfast? Sorry, the apple does not cancel out that pie you just scarfed down. But in all seriousness, we do not have enough protein in our diet which truly satiates us and makes us feel full. We are also too busy eating gummi bears and don’t remember our fruits and vegetables as well.

But seriously, you cannot have enough eggs, milk, or bacon in your diet. Saturated fat really isn’t as bad as people think it is. For you who disagree with me, you got to read this book: Good Calories, Bad Calories. Anyways, that means quit eating cereal for breakfast (full of sugar and doesn’t fill you up), lay off the twinkies, and get more meat in your diet.

I don’t know when this list got so cynical in the lines between or infused with my strange sense of humor, but all comedy aside– I stand firmly by these three things in life. If you feel like your life is lacking purpose, are feeling unmotivated, feel miserable, or ready to give up — concentrate on these 3 things.

Peace out, one love.

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