Detachment in College

(I am currently part of a project in which I can add a piece of wisdom or knowledge that I have learned in college that will be eventually published into a book. Please take a minute to comment and let me know what you think!)

Detachment

One of the most important things that I have learned in college is the concept of “Detachment.” The term originated from the book “Tuesdays with Morrie,” which was given to me by a precious friend, in which a dying professor named Morrie tries to teach his former student how to “let go.”

According to Morrie, the idea of “detachment” is to let go from what is outside your power and to simply accept things for the way they occurred and happened. We shouldn’t always expect to things to always go in our favor because life is unpredictable and can often go in the wrong directions. However when life isn’t going the way that we want, we shouldn’t try to force things our way and stress out. Rather, we need to detach from these uncontrollable situations in order to let go and go forth in the future and truly live.

In college, you’re going to face many hardships when it comes to school, relationships, and when it comes to our futures. When it comes to school, you are going to get a lower grade than you expect on at least one or two tests or essays. Rather than stressing out and hating your life, accept that you got that grade and detach yourself from the disappointment that you may feel. Then take a step back and assess what you are going to do next. Are you going to ask the t.a. for a re-grade? Ask the professor to explain why you got a certain grade? Or are you going to suck it up and step up and do better on your next assignment?

In college, you are also very likely to get your heart broken at least once. College is a beautiful opportunity to meet new people and fall in love, but it is also a time when you can suffer heart-wrenching breakups. When in a relationship, give that person all the love that your heart can offer. And if you get your heart broken, learn to detach from your feelings of hate and bitterness. Do not let a single negative experience change your entire outlook on love and happiness. There is not one person in the world who hasn’t gotten his or her heart broken at least once. Once we detach from our feelings of hate, can we truly learn how to move on and love once again.

And finally, you are probably going to feel depressed for one reason or another. Whether it is the feeling of inadequacy in your major and your studies, or from the constant parental pressure regarding your future. College can be an incredibly stressful time as it is a pivotal point on our lives in which several key decisions can change the entire outcomes of our lives. However detach from these feelings of uncertainty and doubt and learn to follow your heart. Find what makes you happy, rather than what will give you a ton of zeros in your bank account. It is a well-established fact that money can’t buy you happiness, so  don’t even bother. Find something that you are truly passionate about and that you love. If you find something that fits your character, you won’t see work as work, but rather as play. You will look forward to the future and where it can take you rather than feel depressed and have a gloomy outlook in life. We might see happiness as something childish and only for children, but think about the time which we were the happiest in our lives. That’s right, it was our childhood.

So learn how to detach yourself from certain things that are beyond your control when it comes to school, relationships, or the future. Until we learn how to fully let go like when we cross our arms over our chest and fall backwards, can we learn to truly trust our friends and loved ones when they catch us in the end.

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